Aaron F Hagmaier
Prior to being involved with mediation, I spent 24 years in military service with the Air Force.
Can you share a bit about your journey into mediation? What inspired you to become a mediator?
My ungraduated degree is in Accounting, and my Master’s Degree is in Human Relations. Of the two, I was drawn more to the people side of business, than the numbers. While looking for a fit, I served as a Substitute Teacher and Custodian for the School system and volunteered with the Mediation Center on days I was not working. I then took the Training Towards Mediation Certification, and the concepts of listening, and dialogue, and alternative approaches to working through concerns and engaging with people as well as the community appealed to me.
How long have you been involved in mediation, and what types of cases do you typically handle?
I started volunteering with the Community Mediation Center in 2009, and have been a certified mediator since 2010. I am certified as a family and civil mediator as well as a restorative justice facilitator. Additionally, my current duties involve teaching and mentoring others to become certified to become certified mediators.
What do you believe are the key qualities of an effective mediator?
I have found it helpful in my practice to have patience and to listen carefully to what is being shared in a very neutral manner. We may have or make our own assumptions from our own background, but it is important to never make an assumption of a situation but to help clarify why it is important from everyone’s perspective to allow, and facilitate information sharing, listening, and understanding of the circumstances, so that a best-informed decision can be made by those impacted or are involved in the conversation.
How do you approach resolving conflicts when emotions run high?
Mediation does invite emotions into the conversation. When emotions “run high” that is when it is really important to listen, to find out more about the situation being shared, and why it is so important. Then allowing the parties to work through the emotions and surrounding circumstances.
What are some common misconceptions people have about mediation?
The word mediation often implies conflict or that a party to the mediation has done something wrong that needs to be addressed. Mediation is most often a conversation or a dialogue between people, who have shared a situation, or circumstance, or just have something in common that needs everyone’s best thoughts and ideas to be expressed and then explored to find new understandings and often solutions that can work, because they created them through understanding.
How do you personally define “success” in mediation?
I like to think of success as a helpful understanding. This does not need to be an agreement, but allowing each to feel that they were heard and understood. Knowing each other perspectives and requests is often the start of the next better conversation. When the process allows the parties to share information and perspectives and they understand each other they are able to make informed agreements, that always feels like a success. However, that is not always possible, and if parties share their perspectives and why it is important and can understand each other better, that is a valuable outcome as well.
Can you share a memorable mediation case where you felt you truly made a difference?
My favorite experience in mediation was in Civil court, but with real family impact involving young parents of 2 children. The court had to order an eviction or possession back to the owner, a week before Thanksgiving. The case was not referred to mediation, and the participants were trying to discuss the situation in the hallway to no avail. Seeing the parties having trouble talking thought what just happened, I offered my services as a Court mediator to see if I could assist. We sat down in a neutral space, and through the process of sharing information, and discussing the situation through a process that allowed each to see the other as a person, not a plaintiff and defendant, they devised a plan to stay in the residence, have three years to catch up, and the owner offered to pay for the father to finish wielding school.
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Founded in 1982, the Community Mediation Center now doing business as the Fairfield Center, was the pioneering organization in Virginia offering professional conflict resolution and restorative justice services and training.
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